So as I'm writing this I'm supposed to be revising for my biology mock and its a little last minutes as it begins in T-minus 11 hours and 22 minutes from me writing this sentence... But I gave up half way through so I'm blogging to have a come down.
I have noticed I barely ever leave the house, like at all. Unless it's school, forced reasons, family reasons and I dont want to say no to a friend but voluntarily, I haven't.
I guess it's a self confidence thing and I kind of panic whenever I leave my house or even my bedroom. So I've basically become a full time internet hobo, spending all my time online or in my den shutting myself away recently.
I'm not going to be that middle aged white suburban mum who gives you a lecture on how the wifi is melting your brain cells and you're going to be crippled and blind by the age of 23, because trust me, I hate them as much as you. But I do want to get out more. I've been thinking a lot about my hobbies and what I love to do, it's been extremly rainy lately and I love the rain. I love grabbing a coat and my wellies and going into the tiny Forrest outside my house and taking photos. Truth is I love being outside, as I've stated nature and train stations are all my favourite places. Everything's just been so stressful.
I've had mock exams all week and now my art exam has started its all I can focus on. Everything is just a cycle of stressing and panic and hiding away and avoiding my responsibility. I hate it so much because when I can't have down time without panic and I don't have the motivation to study for anything. Trying to balance my hobbies, exercise, a healthy diet, schoolwork, revision, over due coursework and exams is literally the worst. I want to leave the house without having the anxitey of "I could be doing something useful right now".
I made a revision table and like literally broke down trying to make it because I found that so overwhelming. I haven't stuck to it purely because I can't. somethings always coming up or somethings more important. like maybe I have a controlled assessment in biology one week and history the next. so all my attention is focused there. So in the end I always end up turning to the Internet, spending my time on the computer wether that's for procrastinating or for revision and homework. I'm truly a hobo living in the Internet. And to be honest, I'm starting to hate it.
sorry for the negative post, I needed to vent this time. A lot of stuff going off and I need to free my head of it so I can concentrate on the better things in life. Anyway, do you have any experience in this sort of stuff? How do you manage your time and avoid procrastinating? Tell me below, Id really appreciate it!
Take care.
Little Old Me, logging off my Little Old World. Xxx
