Tired and Trying to Staying Awake

Heyo guys!

                 This could come across as a boring topic but hopefully it isn't and could be quite helpful! You see, I am very tired. Not just physically but emotionally. 

normally, I wake up at around 6 in the morning for school to meet Fandom but that kind of changed a bit ago. After my alarm went off I would stare at my phone and contemplate why I was getting up and why I was so tired, then it's half 7 and I'm running about trying to get to school without a late detention... 

This became more and more of a problem when I realised I started going to bed at a resonable time; I'm taking 11 pm on weekends guys-big improvements. But it still didn't work and I'd stay in bed until 11 the next morning. This eventually turned to 1 o'clock (which is where I'm at one school nights) and 4 during the weekends (back to normal). 

I don't know if it's because I refuse to sleep reguardless of how tired I am or because I just can't. I've started having these little anxitey spikes before I sleep. This is not good if you have anxitey as if you suffer from it you'll understand you hate doing things that give you the nervous feelings. I'm literally scared to sleep because of this. 

It's not just sleep either, it's general stuff. I am emotionally drained after school, during school, before school and pretty much all the time. This only became apparent this week as I cannot draw. if you've stuck around you'll know that I live for art and I'm currently doing my GCSE stuff for it. But I cannot draw because I don't have the motivation. It sucks really. 

Anyway, before I carried on my rant, I wanted to know if you're experiencing anything like this. If you are maybe I could try and help. 

over the couple weeks I've felt like this I've found a few things that helps. A main  factor that helps me is to open a window. If you have a latch setting on yours this is great as it is still safe and secure but also lets fresh cool air inside your room along with carrying in  the outside noises (this helps me sleep but it could only work for some). Furthermore, a homely scent or sleep most can really sent you off.  A calming scent can always help to make you more relaxed and comfortable. I find hot drinks good to have. Especially Horlicks (it's like a hot chocolate/malt thing power in Britain that helps as a sleeping remedy-A* description) but godforbid; no not drink caffeine. Not only does this raise anxitey levels, it also acts as a stimulus. 

I hope these tips where of some use and my rant didn't go on for too long. So, do any of you have trouble sleep? What helps you relax before bed? I'd love to hear your solutions and experiences down below!

Take care (a sleep tight!) 

Little Old Me, logging off my Little Old World. Xxx

Facing Your Fears

Heyo Guys!
                  Once again it is a blue moon and I am finally blogging again! A lot have things have been on my mind and I didn't really feel like blogging about it. However, I'm going to address at least one of these things in hope I help one of you.

Since I've been away I've been rather scared. Not of the dark or stranger (although they still scare me!) but of myself. It's not a case of looking in a mirror and screaming because it's my face, but because I've been very lost and been worrying about what I create.

It has become apparent that I am rather frightened of what people will think of the stuff I put out, from my school work to the selfie I posted last month. And even this blog. I've been extremely paranoid and decisive when it came to updating my blog.

Don't get me wrong I love blogging! This anonymous blog is one of my favourite things to do and sharing my thoughts, opinions and experiences are great! But I forgot this blog's purpose: to make myself and others happy.

If you run a blog yourself you'll know that writing your posts feels great! Seeing feedback is even better! And I think that's what I missed. You see, a fear doesn't always have to a clown (even though clowns are satan's offspring) or spiders, it can be something you are making up.

When it comes to facing these sorts of fears you have to tell yourself that you might as well. If I don't feel like I can blog well, I'll do it anyway. If I don't want to speak to hat one person? I'll do it anyway. Because life is more that restrictions and us as humans have so much potential but we don't go all out we can't get everything we want from life.

Now, I'm not saying give up your fear of the sea and jump off a cliff into some water even when you can't swim. Drowning isn't fun! Just don't stop yourself from the things you want!

I really do hope I can get over my own fears and kick start this blog again, which I will try hard to do. Also, we're almost at 700 views?! That's crazy!

Anyway,  tell me, what are your fears? Are they similar to mine? What could you do to overcome them? I love seeing your comments!

Take care.

Little Old Me, logging off my Little Old World. Xxx

The Gossip Girl Saga

Heyo Guys!
                   Happy New Year (is it too late?) Well, anyway this is my first post of 2016! *fireworks* Once again I'm terrible at updating... Nevermind, because boy do I have some shade to tell you all. Because beware:
There is a criminal a mist us.

Literally, in the first week of going back to school poop went down. Some idiot in my maths class created a joke-spoof account on "gossipgir"l. The first post was about him to cover up his tracks and the second was accusing a lass of being pregnant. He was stupid enough to give his true identity to those who DMed him. One of his mates commented it was him and the "pregnant" girl's sister told him to delete the account other wise she'll kill him. So we're off to a great start, right? :D

Anyway, it's turned into a massive joke around our school but then people caught on. That night around 3 more accounts were made for our school. There are actually a lot more of these accounts. There's one for all the gossip in our city. More specifically the schools in our city, but still. There's a couple of more accounts for the local schools but ours had like a good few. Even Fandom made one to get twitter follows but she deactivated it because she was scared she would get arrested.

After literally everyone taking about it in school, our police officer (we have a personal one because ago some kid tried to shank a teacher with a pair of scissors) and headmistress has gotten involved. After word got about about that, everything was deleted and i still dont know exactly why.



(Also some updates for you:)
-I've started dancing! Yeah, I'll probably do a blog post about it as it's something I'd like to go into more detail about.
-The missing teacher situation is still a mystery: kind of. My original spanish has moved schools! We're all really suspicious because why would our head of language get up and leave in the middle of the year? Not only that but my headteacher told us: "there are some things we are not permitted to tell you and there's things you're better not knowing or asking. so we'll leave it there." So suspicious...
-My meetings with my nurse are going kind of okay. I've been referred to different things, been given techniques and all that good stuff. There are still a couple iffy bits and I'm trying to work them.

How's your new year going at the moment? Anything interesting! Tell me below!

Take care.

Little Old Me, logging off my Little Old World. Xxx

New Year, Same Stress (and coping with it)

Heyo Guys!
                   How've you all been? How was your Christmas? I hope you all a wonderful time!

However, I know that some of you will be quite stressed at the moment, as for some reason schools find the idea of having exams in January a great idea. Well it's not. From finals in university to the mountains of homework to the revision for mocks, you have to do at the most festive time! The person who decided that was definitely smoking something highly illegal...

After the pigs in blankets are digested and you've lost that special connection with tinsel, you have work staring right and you and no time. I have like 50 pieces of homework and 6 mocks to revise for within the next four day, and I wish I was over exaggerating. My best guess is that many of you can relate to that. So here's my advice for you all.

1) free a day so you can get most of it done.
Time is important, so free a day so you can organise yourself and get most of it done. Stick on a relaxing playlist on Spotify, and do the most important homework first. Homework first then studying, because while you're doing homework, you're technically revising too so you kill two birds with one stone.

2)Get a friend to help you
As I'm writing this, Fandom is coming over to help me revise and get all my stuff done. Not only does it calm me down having my best friend over, but it also motivates me. Having Fandom over keeps me going and she knows how to help me in these scenarios when I get too worked up.

3) Study from past work
This one could be dependent on if you keep your old full books of work but if you do, I find this really works. Grab a highlighter and go through your old school book and go over the techniques you used and the information you put it. Fandom told me she doesn't actually revise and I got really confused because she does so well in school. She said, instead of panicking and cramming information in, she links what she did in lesson, to the thing they were learning. For example,she links trigonometry with playing squares with everyone on her table. Granted, you should actually be doing work in lesson, but writing down the fun things you did in lesson next to you work in your books, you should remember them more easily.

4)Do not stress!!
The godforsaken words that everyone hates! It does really annoy me when people say this. Like how am I supposed to be not stressed when I have all of the responsibilities?!?! Well, I'm not saying it like calm down and do no work, because that'll only stress you out more. Do your revision and work in intervals, 50 minutes working, 10 minutes down time. Set a timer on your phone so you can go back to it. This will make sure you dont overwork yourself. Also, before you sleep, read or watch youtube, meditate or whatever. Let your mind forget about the worries.
When it's late at night and you cant do anymore work, there's no point worrying about it. My mum was talking to me last night and she said when she felt down like when my dad's on night shifts), one of  her favourite things to do, was  listen to the rain. I'm also reading girl online on tour at the moment and in it there's a point in it where she says she likes the rain because she imagines it's her anxiety running to the bottom of the window. So that's my top tip, listen to rain!

Anyway, a little update for you all. I've had a meeting at school with the nurse before we broke up for christmas about my anxiety and she was really nice. I'm having another meeting with her on the 6th. She gave me some booklets to fill out and she took notes and what have you, and she took them back to her office and is going to speak to her colleagues about me. It's all rather strange to be honest but it looks like this could be going in the right direction. I would definitely try speaking to a school nurse if you have one and you need help with depression or anxiety, they're really lovely and trained with this kind of thing. I also created a twitter account, which you can follow here - https://twitter.com/xXlittleoldmeXx if you like ^-^

Also, it new year eve?! what?! 2015 was both the longest and shortest year, and I hope 2016 is  going to our year! I wish you a lovely night and to enjoy it right down to 12:01 on the first of January. So, like the joke literally every person makes, see you next year!

Take care.

Little Old Me, logging off my Little Old World. Xxx

Top 10 Christmas Tunes!

Heyo Guys!

                  Thought I'd get more festive with today's post and do my top favourite Christmas songs! Here we go:

Number 10) Do they know it's Christmas

I love band aid's spin on the festive tone of this song but spreads a serious message to everyone. It'll get you singing the lyrics with all your heart but teaches you how the less fortunate spread their Christmas. I just had to leave a spot on the list for this song!

Number 9) Jingle Bell Rock

As you've seen before on this blog, I have done a dance to this with my school. Although I had two left feet, I actually really enjoyed the time and I can't help but reminisce on all those funny memories with my drama friends attempting to dance. It hits a personal spot and I always jump up to dance to it no matter how bad I am! 

Number 8) Step Into Christmas

Not gonna lie, I know all the lyrics to this because I always sing it to myself. It just one of those songs that get stuck in your head! It's so merry and amazing and fun and Urghghhh! I have a tendency to drag my sister into the middle of the living room and jump about to it haha. 

Number 7) Thankful Heart

This belongs to one of the best Christmas films: The Muppets Christmas Carol. I watch it every year and my family gets extremly annoyed when I'm quoting the lines over the actual film, but when this song comes on I'm surprised they don't kill me. 

Number 6) fairytale of New York

Yet another classic! The instructions to this song are pretty simple: mumble the starting lyrics and mope around on the stop, then grab a friend, start belting out the upbeat lyrics together while miming action and dancing crazily. Pretty simple. I don't think it's Christmas without this tbh. 

Number 5) All I want for Christmas

It would be illegal not to put this in here. The many covers I've heard over the years (my favourite being dodies just saying) and the many ways people song this tune, it unbelievable. Sure once I hear it I can't help but think my ears are going to actually bleed due to it being the zillionth I've heard in in the past week, I still find myself singing it. It wouldn't be Christmas without it. Simple. 

Number 4) Christmas Lights

A less festive and more dismal song. Granted it won't raises any spirits, but it beautiful. Coldplay does their natural thing and performs a truly glorious song. It makes you get lost in thought. The structure behind is lovely too. Upbeat parts, heart felt parts, classic parts. It's wonderful. 

Number 3) merry Xmas 

This is a song that brings back so many memories due to it being the song we always sung after we did our Christmas plays in primary school. It makes me happy and gives me a warm feeling remembering the amazing times I had every year at primary. It's my prime example of Christmas. 

Number 2) A Spaceman came traveling 

I legitimately cry 3/5 times this comes on. It's so pretty and lovely and I could never say anything bad about it. One of my friends preformed this in a choir and recorded it for people to buy for a charity. He was heart broken with it and said it sound horrible, when I heard him; I cried. fandom and I gave him a standing ovation (which I'm not sure you're allowed to do in church. Oops).

Number 1) Carol of the Bells 

My actual favourite Christmas song, it is my ultimate tune to stick on. Granted when I do everyone is really confused, but oh my god; I love it. The choir boys voice are Saint like and it gives me goosebumps when they go over the "merry merry merry merry Christmas" because it's so Christmassy and amazing! It reminds me of all sort of Christmas films but mostly Harry Potter because of that one part. It's just spectacular. 

And thus that concludes my list. I hope you enjoyed something a bit different! Also, I'm experimenting with adding images to my posts to spice up my layout, I hope you like it. 

So what's your favourite Christmas song? Is there any that you despise? Tell me below!

Take care. 

Little Old Me, logging off my Little Old World. Xxx

 

Motivation

Hey Guys!
                 I'm not dead! Quick note-I'm writing this half way through cleaning my bedroom. You see, it's coming closer to christmas and everything is a bit too much. I've been so busy and it's difficult to keep up with myself. As you can see I've not done very good job at maintaining a blog and I'm sorry about that, I really am. I'm done making excuses and all that stuff, I'm just sorry. 

Motivation is a funny thing. It comes and goes depending on how it feels. As you can tell by my last post, I was full of it. I was organised and had everything in order. I made plans for future posts and everything. But after about a fortnight, I lose it. I stopped being so motivated and started getting busy, stressing and everything piled on. 

I don't know exactly what pushed me to make this post or to re-visit my blog, but I did and I'm glad I did. This blog is a place where I'm not afraid to express myself, that's probably why it's anonymous. You guys make me feel accepted and that makes me want to try and even if a post ends up in the drafts for the rest of eternity, I'm trying. So thank you for those little sparks of motivation because it's better than nothing. 

Hopefully, soon I'll post some updates about what's happened since last time I blogged. So I want to know what you've been up to.  Anything interesting? Are you ready for Christmas (or other religious holiday)? Let me know ^-^

Take care. 

Little Old Me, logging off my Little Old World. Xxx

Missing Teachers

Heyo Guys!
                   My teacher has gone missing. He's dropped off the end of the earth or has run away with a pack of bears.

You see my Spanish teacher disappeared from my class about a month ago. This was extremely weird as he us the head of language and we had a load of mocks coming up. Not only this but we were supposed to be organising a trip for going to Spain to promote choosing language for A level. (Yeah i'll pass on working for people for 8 hours in blistering heat and trying to talk to people in broken Spanish thanks). He left us and literally no one know where he's gone, not even the teachers.

You see, this happened last year. Half way through the spanish course my female teacher left for about 9 months. Eventually we were taken away from the supply teacher that only knew pythagorus let alone which ending to use on "trabajar". We were given the teacher I'm supposed to have now. He a really good teacher and he was much better but my other teacher didn't turn up.

The amount of conspiracy theories were unbelievable.I heard she left, got sacked, became pregnant, tried killing herself and taking time off for depression (like really?), her brother was killed, she was killed, she went to uni, moved to spain and finally smacked the head teacher and ran off. Public school everybody. She's back now, but we still don't know where she went and why.

I really hope my teacher comes back though. He knew are class and how each of us worked. His methods of teaching were perfect for us. But now, we've been given a supply again. We have this horrible teacher with greasy blonde hair put in a ponytail and always wears the same outfit and is horrendous. Think about your least favourite teacher and how terrible are. Now imagine a thousand of them compressed into one horrible woman who's crap at teaching. Thats the one everyone calls "stringer". She will literally shout at you for everything.

I was shouted at because she stole my whiteboard. The previous class didn't wipe it properly so there we a couple word on it so she took it from me and put in on another table. So the girl next to me who I'm good acquaintances with, stood up to go get it me back. I swear down, I've never seen a person spin round so fast as stringer proceeded to start shouting for getting out our seats. She stormed over to our table and then noticed I didn't have a whiteboard and goes;
"WHY HAVENT YOU GOT A WHITEBOARD I SAID WE ARE DOING WHITEBOARD WORK. DONT YOU LISTED????"  So I explained why the girl didn't do anything wrong and she took my white board so I can't write anything. So then she called me stupid because I can't write on top of writing. tbh she's the stupid one because you know these things called "board rubbers" exist :000

Honestly, it's so silly. I go to an academy and yet they can't keep our teachers in school. My PE teacher is never in lesson, my english teacher is rarely in lesson, my spanish teachers keep getting abducted by aliens.

Anyway, that's my experience. What's your teachers' like? Have any of yours disappeared? Tell me below, I love reading your comments!

Take care.

Little Old Me, logging off my Little Old World. Xxx